I put on my boots and packed my favorite notebook just like I told you. At 1 o'clock in the morning I left home, heading for the airport in Chicago three hours away. I figured I would come back the same way I came. I simply forgot.
When we step boldly into the unknown for Christ, we can never return the way we left.
Halfway across the country, I bounce from one idea to another. From the eagerness to create, to do something new and exciting, and the reality of my current season of life. The busyness of children, beautiful gifts all needing their momma, and their momma needing them to teach her how to be a good momma. I lean back into the One who calls me to these things, and know that it is this leaning that matters. It matters that I find room for prayer with Him, that I search his words and know they are meant for my pleasure, my joy, my instruction as much as they are for my children.
I prepare to head home filled with so much passion, information, learning and friends. I wonder what the next step should be. What step I will take, what directions I should go. And He nudges me to remember this is all about Him and His plan. The winds of fury move across the Atlantic circling like the dishwater in my sink at home. The storm moves wildly and I realize my plans have changed. I had jokingly said it the night before – how I thought God might just think I need to ponder things a bit more. One cancelled flight and I now had 18 hours driving time in a car to soak up what He was trying to tell me.
My little black rental car was pushed and pulled through wind and water, me barely able to breathe out of fear. It goes on like this for four hours and I fear for those so much furthur into the storm. Those who were not able to out-run a hurricane, but had to hunker down and endure. The weather clears six hours into the drive and I spend the next twelve trying to make it home.
Our driveway welcomes me – the same one I left all broken and buckled. Sometimes our greatest rest is found among the broken. I turn off the key in the ignition for the last time that day and say a prayer for the little ones asleep in their beds. And as I step out of the car, the long drive home now complete, I realize that the journey in fact is never over. He continues to call us to Him, to His plans, His ways, His love whipping wildly through our days and uprooting our best laid plans for His perfect plan.
I am learning how to bend in the wind, and soak up this pouring rain – His deep amazing grace.