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September 26, 2012

When You Just Want to Be a Good Mom…

 

 

 

 

 

It struck me today

How good readers first must read

How good runners first must run

How good cooks first must cook

How good Momma's first must be Momma's

 

When I wonder if I will ever get this right

And the earth circles the sun 

And I still rush the kids when we should go slow

and silence them when I should listen

And I don't yell by raising my voice, but the tone is just so harsh, so demanding

When I teach them about being gentle

And wonder how in the world I can find more gentleness

to fill this soul

To break into the depths

and leak through the cracks

 

Perhaps this is why we break into the world of parenthood with wide wonder

 

A new baby in my arms and me –

wondering why in the world the hospital would let me take her home

when I proved no real knowledge of rasing a child

 

But maybe now I know.

You can't be a good momma until you are a momma.

 

Being a momma rips you right open

Exposes the broken, and the weakness.

Exposes your tendency toward selfishness.

 

I didn't really know who I was

until I was a Momma

and not because I find completeness in my kids

I don't.

But because they reflect who I am

and I can't avoid the truth in the mirror

And if we really want to be a good momma

we have to be a momma.

Who cares

Who admits mistakes

Who asks for forgiveness

Who sees her children struggle 

and sees her own struggle

Who doesn't demand perfection

But joins them in the journey.

 

And so I do.  Today.

And every day after.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

 

I am training for my own Olympics

making my heart hurdle obstacles of frustration

and jumping high and long to avoid the need to control

I am discovering my areas of weakness

and depending on Truth to strengthen them.

And some days I am exhausted

the training is hard.

 

But at the end of the race

it won't matter what the competition did

it won't matter if they ran faster 

or if they jumped farther

but it will matter that I finished strong

that I received the prize

for these medals are made of something much richer than gold

Children

A Family

Deep unwavering faith

In the One who sees me

And pours out grace

for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By: Karen Gill · Filed Under: A Heart Renewed

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Comments

  1. Amanda F says

    September 26, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Thanks for sharing this today! This Momma in training really needed to hear this today!

    Reply
  2. Brandy says

    September 26, 2012 at 10:23 am

    So lovely! Thank you for such powerful words of encouragement!  And Praise the Lord for his tremendous grace and love, which covers us all as we travel along this journey!

    Reply
  3. Lynn says

    September 28, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    So true. Well said. Praise God for His grace as we figure it out!

     

    Reply
  4. Tara says

    October 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it. 

    Reply
  5. Jamie Earley says

    October 2, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I have read this about 5 times. I love your words, and the song in the background… wow! I am pregnant with my 3rd child, due in 4 weeks. I feel over my head with my responsability to my children at times. I have a 6 year old and 4 year old who I am homeschooling. I love them so much….. and need SO much of the Lord's grace to sustain me and get us through each day. Thank you for your encouragement!

    Reply

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