My feet have been swollen, my back aching, my belly bulging, and my patience lost. In the last stage of my pregnancies I have usually been anxious, irritated, and impatient. I am eager to deliver the child - to empty the womb and to hold that which I have waited for.There are some things we carry in life that last so much longer and are so much more uncomfortable than the final stage of pregnancy. We move about our world, accepting of the stage, but nearly unable to bear it … [Read more...]
When Your World Topples
The blue scooter under his chubby two-year-old toes gives way to the cement step under him, sending him toppling to the sidewalk. A brief hesitation to understand his surroundings, and then the wails cry out and the tears fall. His sister rushes to his side, picks him up and brushes him off. Once upright, her gentle words come. "It's ok brother, you're ok. Want a hug brother?" The older brother ran to the scene too, and set to work, righting the scooter … [Read more...]
Soothing Suffering
Every family had them - in fact, they were so common that the questions surrounding them remained fixed:What kind? Or when? Or when again? Or who? And of course, the ever-present one....why?Scars. Physical or emotional - no one was without. It was so common back then, a time when many children died in infancy from illnesses preventable in today's terms. When a day's work exposed you to dangerous situations, hard toil, and little provision. And yet, … [Read more...]
Wedding
I walked in the door and could smell one of the smells I love - Pine Sol. He had just finished mopping floors and was doing the dishes. I could hear instrumental music in the background, and instantly my heart was curious - who was this man listening to violins and piano? And then I began to recognize....the tune - I heard that same tune many years ago - nine to be exact. They day we were married. He had taken our wedding video and had it converted to DVD (it was in VHS - … [Read more...]
Lent Is For The Broken
Lent was a term I didn't grow up with and yet it has me broken to pieces. I am unwound, shattered, heaving in the memory of the Christ-man's donkey ride to impending torment, torture, and death. He willingly went, and He knew what was to come. My heart aches, screaming for Him to avoid the pain - the betrayal, the denial, the whips ripping flesh and bruising bone. The public display of disgrace turned to flag-waiving, glory-freedom shining bright in … [Read more...]
Feminism
She asked me how how I will teach my daughter about feminism, and the foundation under me trembled. You see, it wasn't the idea of teaching my daughter about historical facts of the "feminism movement" - afterall, that's just a history lesson, and she's only six. No, my foundation shook because of the legacy that movement has left - a legacy of destruction. What were "we" as women thinking really? - crawling out of despair and discontentment by screaming, "I am … [Read more...]
To Be Fed
My baby refuses to eat from a bottle. He wants his Momma. More than that, he wants the closeness, he wants the comfort, he wants what he has always known. He wimpers in hunger, his stomach anxious to drink the milk, but his heart rejecting the method like a child unwilling to swallow the very medicine that will restore them to good health.I act like this baby sometimes. Sometimes God gives me something that is good for me - something that will nourish my … [Read more...]
Seasons
It was once I moved to the Upper Midwest that I first experienced the seasons. A bitter cold winter turns into spring with life bulging out of the ground and flowers budding. A hot summer day giving way to the death of fall. I saw the physical change of the season and thought that was all it is - the beautiful result of temperature and daylight changes.But seasons really are so much more. Time Markers.I saw it right in front of me for the first time - time … [Read more...]
Habits
I wake up barely being able to walk - my hamstrings reminding me that yesterday morning's workout was something my body was not used to. Yesterday it was my arms and back that was aching. Sore muscles stretched and called upon to lift weights and make movements they have not been challenged to do in a while. Doesn't it always start out this way? The body fatigues and groans when new demands are placed upon it. I stop my hobbled movement with the realization that every … [Read more...]
The Woman
A familiar stranger comes to visit me, in the still of the morning. Her quiet, gentle spirit soothes my soul. Words that are kind and re-assuring are spoken by her. They bring comfort, and convince me that today is a day that will matter - a day where memories are made among an inquisitive six year old, an active three year old, and a 20 month old with a smile that brightens my world. For a moment, my life seems serene - so perfect and blessed, magnified as I become re-acquainted with the … [Read more...]
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